It's recently come to my attention that I don't have a best gal pal. Sure, there are lots of good friends, and some ladies who are in the running, but I'm pretty sure they're all spoken for (you know, had best friends since they were wee kids). Having said that, here are some things you might want to consider if you were to apply for the position.
1 - If we go to the movies, we should get the following candy, in this order: Sour Gummi Bears, Peanut M&Ms, and Red Licorice (as long as it's fresh).
2 - If you don't like candy, that's okay, that means more for me. I will however also appreciate fruit in this order: Guava, Pineapple, Blueberries.
3 - If we go out for drinks afterwards, I like Vodka Tonics, Champagne, and whiskey based things like manhattans. If it's before 3pm, let's have Bloody Marys (extra spicy) instead.
4 - If we decide to bake cookies, let's keep them chocolate chip. If you insist on something else, I'll be okay as long as there are no raisins. Raisins in my cookies is a total deal breaker.
5 - If we go out for a drive, and I'm not behind the wheel, don't be insulted when I grab for the door handle and tell you to be careful. It's not that I don't trust your driving, it's that I've been Randall's passenger for too long.
6 - Speaking of driving, don't judge me when I can't parallel park the car on the first, second, or third try.
7 - I'm a terrible communicator. Don't expect emails, phone calls, postcards, etc. (In hindsight, this could be why I don't have a best gal pal.) I will however, appreciate all of those things.
8 - My favorite movie from my childhood was The Goonies. You will get bonus points for doing the Truffle Shuffle. And we will be inseparable if we both say, "Holy Mary Mother of God" on a regular basis.
9 - I talk in circles. I hope you won't mind hearing the same story over and over again. You know, like the time we did that thing and that store closed at 1am. Did you remember that it closed at 1am?
10 - I'll promise to make you something/do something for you, and then probably take a year to do it. But you know, it'll get done.
You know what else will get done? My big butt going to the gym on a regular basis. That'll get done eventually.
Today I got 'er done, and this is what I look like afterwards. So much for healthy glow, I look like I've been crying. Maybe I just sweat through my eyes?
