The Daily Sabs

today they suggested we leave the office before 1pm. there were some reasons, but i don't need anyone to tell me twice to leave work early. after work i went to lunch with lydia and allison. i had a delicious salmon (see inset photo) and then we wandered around a bit. i ended up having to pick up some things from walgreen's. while there i snapped this pic.

oh, if you didn't notice, i didn't dress up for halloween. although i did wear my sweet big ben sweater. too bad i accidentally covered big ben with my elbow.

as brian mentioned, it was a sad day. it's not the first time i've gone through a sad day, but i do hope it's the last. unfortunately i don't think the world works like that anymore.

coincidentally, tomorrow marks the seventh anniversary of one of my other sad days. perhaps there's just something about october indeed.

on a brighter note, the brows are good, no?

I recently got married, and with marriage comes a big ol' Chinese wedding banquet. Ours is finally happening this weekend, and I will be wearing this dress (yellow scarf -- which is really quite bright -- courtesy of Angelica). The dress was sort of an ordeal, I bought it three weeks ago on the internet, brought it a tailor for alternations and picked it up today. I've known about this event for months, but it wasn't my fault this time.

And now, in what will surely be the first of many morm stories, I present you with the reason why.

Four months ago, when we were setting the date for the banquet I asked my mom if should wear a qipao (a traditional chinese dress). This is how the conversation went:

Me: So should I wear a qipao? Where can I get one, is that what you want me to do?
Her: Oh well a you know, I don't think that is a gonna look so good on you. You know, you not a skinny girl. I think maybe it's not such a good ideas.
Me: *sigh* (btw, that sort of statement is not unusual coming out of her mouth) Fine, what do you want me to wear then? Can I wear my regular wedding dress?
Her: Yes, that is a good. No one is going to expect to see you in a Chinese dress anyways to it.

Fast-forward to three weeks ago where she calls me and asked what I would be wearing.

Me: Um, my wedding dress.
Her: (long pause) Oh well you know, I just a thought maybe you want to wear something more tradition style.
Me: Like the qipao you said i was too fat for?
Her: What? Nooooo, Mommy (yes she talks about herself in the third person) never said that. I think it would be a nice.
Me: What? You totally said I was too fat for that, and now you give me 3 weeks to get one?
Her: Well you know, it doesn't have to be a qipao. Just a nice dress. You know, like an evening gown. Don't you has a one in your closet? Something nice with a little sparkle?
Me: (silent, totally dumbstruck by the idea that i might have an evening gown in my closet) What?
Her: Well can you go Macy Nordstro and get one?

-- insert long argument about how angry I am to find out now as opposed when I asked during prom season (you know, when "Macy Nordstro" would be littered with fancy sparkle dresses)would be full of shiny evening gowns --

Me: Fine. What color?
Her: Any color, but not a black.... or a blue.. or green or a yellow. 
Me: So you're saying you want me to get a red evening gown?
Her: Well it could be a pink you know. Doesn't have to be red. And you know, some sequin shiny would be nice too.

On my way home from a seemingly long day in the office. Sometimes the afternoons whisk by and I'm not sure where they went. Lately the troops have been restless and I'm not sure what that means.

Ps: there's a smile on my face because we're having ike's for dinner.  (note added in after posting - i thought there was more of a smile, it was hard to tell on the wee blackberry screen)

Pps: this post was sent from my new used phone

I went through a large period of time where I was dreaming about work every night. I no longer dream about work -- although it does often occupy my mind when i'm trying to fall asleep -- but now my dreams are waking me up at night. The dreams aren't that crazy or weird (well not any weirder than normal), but they just end and then i wake up. Sometimes it's 4am, sometimes it's 6. Most of the time I fall right back asleep, but sometimes it takes a long time to doze back off. Last night was one of those nights. i'm surprised my eyes don't look more panda.

and mom, i did comb my hair before i left the house. honest.

Lately I have been trying my best not to leave the house on Sundays. It doesn't always work out, but today it did. And by "don't leave the house" I mean just not going out in public and doing things. I actually stepped outdoors several times, mostly for garden tending. It ends up being a nice relaxing day where chores can get done, and there's time for real breakfast and dinner. And the very best part of not leaving the house means i don't have to comb my hair, or put on any makeup. So here you have it, unkempt hair, big pores and all.

ps: yah yah yah i know. enough with the eyebrows already, they're getting tidy'd up this week.

this morning val texted me and wanted to know if i was interested in going on a goat farm tour. while this might seem odd for some, it was nothing out of the ordinary for val. so i responded yes, but said i'd have to bring randall. you see, i didn't think goats were that great (they're sort of creepy looking with their eyes not quite on the sides of their head) but that man likes him some goats. so we all went out to harley farms to check them out. i'll admit it now, i think i was wrong. these goats were pretty damn cute, and their cheese? freaking delicious.

you can't see it, but i also have an orange and white skirt with embroidered embellishments on it. that, combined with an office full of bright colors (see pillows in back), and giant round features make me worry that i am nothing but a walking cartoon character. i know, it's a dumb thing to worry about, but when you've become a caricature of yourself, what's next?

ps: it's time to get the bangs cut. although this may not help the cartoon character thing.

As a kid my mom used to always say to me "Zui ba bi qi lai" which means close your mouth (although I do believe she had an implied "damn" in front of the word mouth). I would sit at the computer, or dinner, or anywhere, and eventually my mouth would go from shut to open. I call it phantom talking, as displayed above.

sidenote: this one was also taken in a bathroom. i apparently need a private place for these pics.

I've been meaning to start this daily self-portrait blog for about a year now. I just didn't know where to start. I know it sounds like a vanity project -- and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't -- but it's also a vulnerability project. There's a reason I'm always the photographer and not the photographee.

I didn't mean to start with tears, but figured it was as good of a place as any. And yes, these tears are real not crocodile. Only I'm not sure where they came from, I wasn't really sad, just sort of melancholic. And while I'm the crybaby of my family, I definitely don't think it's okay to cry in public, so what does this say about me?

private for scottel: what do you do about october?