The Daily Sabs

while we haven't always seen eye to eye, this lady is my favorite. from her i get my adventurous spirit, love for weird food, determination, and ridiculous logic. i also get my stubbornness, inability to be incorrect, bossiness, and look-at-me-center-of-attention-ness. as you can imagine, when we're together it's either a disaster or the most fun ever.

happy mother's day morm! thanks for all your hardwork and sacrifices. wo ai ni!

ps. while morm has spouted off lots of gems of wisdom throughout the years, my current favorite is this proverb: sit on top the mountain watch the tigers fight. even morm knows, sometimes it's best to stay out of it all.

Look at this lady, she just screams trouble doesn't she? More on her in a minute.

This morning I drive out to el dorado hills to attend alisha's bridal shower. It was at her aunt's stunning custom home, set along a gorgeous rolling hills landscape. The food was tasty and the guests were loverly (especially my sacto gals). It was sort of a picture perfect bridal shower. You know if you look past the part where the bride was an hour late because she got the time wrong. Hopefully that doesn't happen on day of!

Afterwards I stopped by morm's house. I was driving past her freeway stop and would have felt pretty guilty if I didn't. She was in good spirits and the conversation was really fun. I'm trying to get her to plan a trip with me, but she's even more noncommittal than I am. At some point we ended up hunting around the house for some purse she wanted to give me to give my sister. We ended up on an accidental matchbox car memory lane. That was soon followed by a different treasure box memory trip which led us to the one that caused the sheriff to arrive.

Well technically I caused the sheriff to arrive. I mean I called them.

You see amongst the teenage mutant ninja turtles and a bag of ties was a grenade. I should probably back up an mention that my dad was a military man and that I had, on more than one occasion, seen the grenade as a child. It was hidden, but I knew where it was. I recall being told it was emptied, but the problem was it looked real. And heavy. And with a pin in it. And morm started joking about pulling the pin.

Even though I was pretty sure my dad had said it was a surplus souvenir from his training days, I started going into panic mode. Especially once morm said she thought the one my dad had as souvenir looked different. I sort of didn't believe her, but now the seed of doubt had been firmly planted. And I had absolutely no intention of being that freak story you hear about on the news. So I called the sheriff and two squad cars and four officers came to hang out.

They had us evacuate the house and then took some photos to send to the bomb guy. Unsurprisingly, they couldn't tell by looking either. Oh and they told me something similar happened a few months ago and it turned out it wasn't a empty trainer like the guy thought. I had been wondering if i was overreacting (my dad who I talked to on the phone thought I was), but that fact solidified it. Especially once morm convinced herself that this wasn't the one she remembered my dad having.

After waiting in the sacto chill for an hour (thanks bugs but for the record my legs are not the all you can eat diner you believe them to be) the bomb guy finally he arrived. He was supposed to scope it out and whisk the grenade away in a bomb box. When he arrived he was wearing a tee shirt and jeans. I have to admit, I was disappointed that he didn't show up in a bomb suit. I think morm was too, but didn't want to fess up to it.

In the end it turned out to be totally safe, although they did say it had looked tampered with in a weird way. Mostly it was just a bit of wacky drama and a story to remember.

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This afternoon, after a giant filing and photocopying ordeal (morm's getting audited and let's just say that while she is a total straight arrow, her bookkeeping leaves something to be desired), morm decided to make chinese new year cake. Only she didn't just make a single batch, she made a gargantuan pot full of batter (see second photo for proof - also see second photo as proof that I am my mother's daughter). She says it's because she used to cook for hundreds of soldiers every morning and that she only knows how to make a huge batch. There are flaws in this story as that was over 25 years ago, and also I don't think she ever made them Chinese new year cake.

While the cake was cooling (seriously she brought the 10 lb gooey condition outside to chill), I popped over to say hi to uncle Bobby and befi aiyi. There's a new super cute puppy in their life: a little corgi that their granddaughter named Justin (presumably after beiber). It was adorable, but sadly the iPhone only let's you send 5 photos at once, so you'll just have to trust me on that. And on the wackiness of files piled up for the audit. It was insanity. update: more photos of dog and paper insanity added below.

Once the cake was cooled, the car packed, and the obligatory fight fought, I said farewell to morm and hit the road. But first a quick stop at juju & wes's house. I hadn't really seen them all year and that needed to be fixed. In fact it had been so long, I still had their birthday presents. Juju opened hers up and discovered some ceramic squirrels. She immediately replaced her eyes with them. Obviously. Wes entertained us with some sounds and I chatted their ears off in a whirlwind and was gone. They got bonus points for staying in their pjs too. That's how you know we're good pals.

Ps. What a long day. I also scarfed down morm feast part deux. Because like my morm, I have no concept of moderation.


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